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Saturday, August 10, 2013

7w5d ultrasound on 5.8.2013 !

We had an ultrasound today because of brown spotting. Both babies had heart beats and measured according to their gestational age. I am really thankful that everything looked fine. I guess the bleeding occured because of using progesterone pessaries. They irritate my vaginal canal and cervix so much. I really hate them. Doctor looked at my cervix and also showed me how much of crinone has accumulated in my vagina (it is brownish in colour!). I am taking progesterone rectally at present, but I have also asked for progesterone injections. Instead of this emotional torture which I undergo because of bleeding, it is better to bear the physical pain of PIO (progesterone in oil). (But later I was told that PIO is not available in Germany !) So at present I am using crinone twice a day rectally. Studies show that both routes (vaginal or rectal) of administration is equally effective (PMID:22714063). So, if you are in a similar situation as me do not hesitate to take progesterone rectally.

People ask me whether I am on cloud nine. To be very honest, I am totally stressed out. This uncertainity is hard to bear and the bleeding is very scary. I think my inability to enjoy pregnancy stems from my long infertility struggle and a miscarriage. It is a pity how we infertile women couldn't enjoy what we longed for the most, or... is it just me ? I will be happy if people could share how they felt during their pregnancy after overcoming infertility !

I am generally tired, my skin is extremely dry, I get weird dreams, feel nauseous both mornings and evenings, my sense of smell is extremely high (I smell many new things at home and they make me to gag !), I cannot brush my teeth without throwing up. I am happy to be sick ! Sometimes I wonder whether I am really sick or subconciously I am making my brain to feel sick ! If I don't feel sick I panic, sometimes I even cry. I couldn't stand the smell of normal Indian food, especially boiling rice. I haven't had any normal, routine Indian food for a week or so. Idlies are my favourite and they please my palate even now. I have a wonderful friend who spends her precious time to bring idlies for me early morning, and I donno how I will ever repay this kindness. In short, all simple carbs and fruits seem to be OK. Odourless, mild tasting food which is cold seems to be fine.

I seldom get very pale brown discharge and it seem to have stopped now. I am scared and my brain is foggy. I force myself to think positive and be happy. Every loving soul around me fills me with positive thoughts and energy as much as they can. Will be having my first gynaecologist appointment very soon. Sorry for not updating my blog - somehow I don't have the mood to do so. I wish I could write somethingelse too other than my pregnancy updates and I am sure I will do so soon.

As always my only request is - pray for us ! I need to surround myself with lots of positive energy. Any advise on how to deal with this stressful period is very much welcome !

19 comments:

  1. Dear Manju,
    Happy to know everything is well and my prayers are with you. Keep smiling..heres sending you lot of baby dust.

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  2. I was waiting so anxiously for your update! So happy that everything is fine. Brown spotting is very common too. I had that a few weeks after I had the gush of red blood - by that time I was so tired of rushing to the ER that I just made an appointment with the OB/gyn. Mine was not due to irritation from Crinone, but stopping progesterone abruptly. I totally understand how you feel! I also felt like I was walking on a tightrope during pregnancy, especially the first trimester. Don't stress over feeling sick or not - on some days I felt more sick and some days hardly. I didn't even start feeling sick till the end of the first trimester.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ariel, thanks a lot ! Your words help a lot.

      Delete
  3. Hi Manju,

    Everything will be fine - do not worry. As I mentioned to you before, I had a large subchorionic haemorrhage which lasted from week 10 through week 28 of my pregnancy... and I was advised rest. I had absolutely NO morning sickness. But I have a nearly three-year old son now :) So try not to worry... Once your babies are born, you will have no time for yourself for a few months... so try and enjoy this time with your husband... try and catch movies, plays, concerts - whatever interests you... try your hand at a new hobby if you have the time... go on a holiday in your second trimester if your doc says it's fine. Pamper yourself NOW! You won't get this "me-time" ever again :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the encouraging words ! I will try to follow your suggestions : )

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    2. It would have been very stressful, right ? 10 weeks-28 weeks ! You are a strong woman.

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  4. U crossed 8 weeks...yay....it's all good from here on manju

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  5. I am praying for ur little bubs.....all will be well. I have a very positive feeling about this :) keep the faith dear.....u'r going to be one of those success stories we all hope to be one day. Btw...how's the husband holding on??? Pls do tell him that we're praying for him too :)

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  6. Manju, have you watched "Chennai Express"? Heard its good. Hows the weather there in Germany? Lots of love.. Anjani :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Anjani,

      You are so cute :)

      I watched it, the first half is ok. Songs are very nice. Deepika is looking cute and the first half has some good comedy.

      But, what they show is not Chennai. Deepika's Tamil is horrible, no Tamil girl will speak the language in such a way. Sharukh Khan looks worn-out and the love between him and Deepika doesn't touch our hearts.

      Movie is ok,ok :)

      It was very hot the past couple of weeks, this week it is comparitively colder and hmm....might get worser again.

      They say 3Ws in Germany are unpredictable - Weather, Work and Women :)

      Loads of love,
      Manju

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  7. Hi manju,
    Very very happy for you n I m sure everything vl go well. I know ur present state of mind won't allow u to talk about infertility but for us who r still struggling Please share something about this ivf attempt of yours. Where did u get it done from, no of eggs retrieved , transferred etc etc....did ur doctor do smthg different dis time or u followed some different diet plan etc. Please we r eager to know everything in detail.hope u vl not mind as u understand us completely.

    Take care,
    Anu.

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    Replies
    1. Dear Anu,

      Definitely I will make a post as you suggested. Thank you so much !

      Manju

      Delete
  8. Manju

    You and your little ones will be fine. Sending lots of positive energy your way!

    I can imagine how stressful it must be. Even though I didn't have any spotting / bleeding this time (thankfully) even till date each time I go to the bathroom, I check if all is ok. I have only recently started enjoying the pregnancy (a little bit) but still remain very skeptical. It is a bit unfortunate for people like us who have gone through infertility issues though I hope being a constant worrier fades away slowly. Please do take some time away for yourself, pamper yourself, or maybe read a book? I immersed myself in work and shopped for others ...something that always distracts me and makes me happy.

    You take care of your self and eat whatever stays. I still throw up occasionally which is not fun but keep reminding myself that its all for my little miracle. :)

    PS: Idlis are my fav right now too!

    Nushi

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    Replies
    1. Nushi, thanks for the encouraging words and kind suggestions. I too hope that it gets easier with time.

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  9. Oh My God!! It just striked me today that your IVF result must be out. I read your post last when u underwent the embryo transfer...Im soo soo soooo happy as if I've become Pregnant!! I want to feel the same...Congratulations!!

    Theere is nothing to fear...Say out loud in your room "IM PREGNANT" "Yes I M Pregnant"...several times n u will feel from inside...Babies will hear this and get super excited too

    Believe it or not...You have given me a ray of hope. I was little scared whether i should go for my 4th IVF attempt or not...but now i want..YES I want :)
    Happy Pregnancy and Motherhood :)
    Love
    Pooja

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Pooja,

      Thank you so much ! All will be well for you. Never give up !

      Manju

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  10. i had been in ur situation for the last 6 years and just enjoying my motherhood end of 2012.. congratulations manju.. enjoy ur pregnancy, say positive words to urself n ur baby so that both of you will become more and more stronger :) take care and cheers!

    regards,
    hana
    malaysia..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Hana,

      Thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement. I am trying my best to be happy and positive.

      Manju

      Delete

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